i hate myself

i've lost my mum credit card while isi minyak at petronas sg. petani. im such a clumsy girl when think it balik. i cried hard today because of this incident. when my mum did not even angry with me, that hurts me the most. im useless to my mum. i cant handle a small matter. i hate myself more than anything in the world today.  can you imagine, lagi few days nak daftar university, means, nak stay far from my mum, i did something really stupid. mama. im sorry. i love you. i just dont deserve your love. im useless. i hate myself even more! im angry with myself. dont talk to me. every single of you. dont talk to me.